Frustrations of life.

I'm sitting here late at night when i should be in bed, thinking about a ton of things and yet non of which my mind has spent too much time on one subject. Just bouncing from one thing to the next. It's all realated though and that's what's strange about it. They're all connected by one thing or another. Thoughts that to be honest confuse the hell out of me. You try to play the devils advocate with yourself and then try to reason and then just to answer a question with another questions. Strange... yes, but i'm sure many of us have been up at night thinking. Sigh... i can't write anymore... i'll finish later. just tired of thinking. Not in the mood to think about writing. I'm not a writer, people. I usually write what's on my heart but tonight that's not something im willing to do. Not tonight. Thinking is what needs to be done. Honestly I should take my brothers advice and do something else. Something that will take my mind off of girls. That's one of the reasons i've been wanting to buy a run down house, piece of land or a loft so i can be occupied by that instead of girls. Seems like every turn i make, it's a dead end. Don't get me wrong i'm not wanting a pitty party because i enjoy myself with or with out a lady. I would rather go, at this poin of my life, with someone to enjoy it with and share the joys of life and adventures. You know what the heck i will talk about what i feel and one of the things i've been thinking about for about a week now. Ok, this has been bothering me ever since i've found out. I was told that someone, i won't mention names, told a lady friend of mine that she needs to stay away from me. I'm bad news and I go from one girl to the next when i get bored of them. I honestly was VERY upset. I just didn't show it to her. Where does this person have the audacity to say this about me? Who is she to tell a stranger what she should do when she has NO idea who i am. She knows nothing about me, and the only time we've talked is saying hello when i saw her at church. Where does she get this information from? I really would like to know who else she told this too? I'm to the point of just saying "I'm just gonna get the heck out of the frecken bible belt" This is so ridiculous, what happened to christianity? It seems like the most fake, outrageous, hypicritical, back stabing is here in the belt. People should focus on their own lives instead of butting in on other peoples, especially when they know nothing about me. they have something to say, come to my face and talk to me about it. Want to gossip, fine, do so but don't be surprised when you find me coming to talk to you about you running your mouth. I'm not afraid to confront them and tell them to stop, i've done it before and they didn't stop so guess what? Their not in my life anymore. Honestly i really don't know how that affected her dicision or not. My last person i tried to date, same thing happened, someone was talking crap about me. And then on valintines day she broke it off. That was about 3 years ago. I've never, ever went from one girl to the next because I got bored with her or anything of that nature. I've told them exactly why it wouldn't work. Weather, it was communication, or something else, they knew why it wasn't working out. Anywho...i really have to go... just getting more frustrate as i write and my hands can't type as fast as my thoughts are comeing. So until next time, Take this advice to heart. If you want to know someone, just ask that person. See how he treats his friends, treats you, treats his family and any rumors that come your way bring them up and be honest with them because with out that, you don't have trust.