wow...

My life right now feels like a emotional rollercoaster ride. I feel like, well, i don't even know how to explain how i feel like... isn't that sad? My emotions go from one extreme to the next like im in a mid life crisis or something. Maybe stress... maybe many things but I must say i don't like it. I like to be in control of my life, my emotions, my attitude, my finaces... i just feel like nothing is going right. Nothing! Sure im working, but not getting paid, exercising but no results, having friends but still alone, praying but no response, worshiping but still empty, loving but feeling unloved, seek and not finding, surrending to God but feeling left out, desolate, abandoned, hopeless, helpless, confused, frustrated, disconsolate, forsaken, and alone. God am i doing something wrong? really? If please tell me! I read your word, seek your face, pray, giving up things in my life that were pulling me away from you, I worship you, I give you the praise and I surrender everything that you've asked and yet i still feel forlorn. I just feel like im going crazy because every door gets shut, every opertunaty. If I can't turn to you Lord where can i turn too? Who is greater then you? You ask us to come to you with our needs but yet i feel like your mocking me with them. Father im just worn out... I can't do this anymore... You have to do it... Emotionaly i can't, physically, i can't, and mentally i can't. Father, i don't know what's going on. I know you do. I just ask that you bring me someone to help me, a companion, a friend. You said it yourself Father, that it's not good for man to be alone... yet here i stand. This how i feel, if it even makes sense.