Just chillin' because it's cool

Aaaah the days we spend hanging out with friends, just enjoying each others company. Lately, by that i mean a couple of weeks, it's been going to the lake every weekend riding jetski's and laying on the beach, or what some my call really really small rocks, going to Theresa's house and play tetris, joker, piano, or cards. I must say though it's been a lot of fun. I'm enjoying hanging out with all the new people. Some of them i feel like i've know for much longer than a couple of weeks or months. It's a very different friendships that i've stumbled upon. Usually they're one sided or there is alot of drama. But in this group everyone seems to care for everyone. It's really comforting to see it in action especially this past sunday. I am totally broke at the moment, and brian goes and buys 4-5 pizza's and 3- 2liters of soda and elisha buy some 2 liters also. I just felt really blessed and I hope one of these days i can repay them for that. I mean, i was straving and broke... not a good combo. lol. Also like theresa opening up her home for us to hang out, and katherine for her jetski's, chad for pulling my jetski, and brandon for being a good friend, amy for her crazyness, derek for his amazing piano skills, melody for her awesome voice, saite for her competitive spirit in joker, elisha for her wanting to pounch you in tetris. I mean there is sooo many more things that each of them bring to the group. I just named some that just came to mind right away. God has blessed me with a great group of friends that love and care about each others well being and always encourage each other in Christ. I could go on forever talking about all the ways they encourage me and lift me up. Anyways... i just wanted to say thankyou to all that have excepted me just as i am. I would do anything for you guys.

GRRrrreat!

Sweet im a tiger.... Grrrr! RAWRRR! :) Ok people, I'm courious now on what kind of wild animals some of you are. Post your animal and what it says...hehe. This should be interesting.





WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
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hello there!

Just wanted to see who is out there reading my blog that probably makes me seem like a psycho, depressed, christ loving, dude. ah yes, thats kind of a weird way to discribe it but i'm new at this blog thing and try to write what i feel but my writing ablities aren't that great so i get misunderstood many a times. they say to write like you talk..lol their funny. makes it harder for me. I don't know what to write about so i figured i'll just see who actually reads my blog. :D

nauseous

Saturday was a fun time at the lake. We took out my jetski and katherine's, who had 2, and rode them around the lake. It actually worked out great because we had six people and we 2 on each jetski. That was a lot of fun. We layed out on the beach and diped in the lake and layed out again. I even took my shirt off, Yes, I took my shirt OFF. I know it's hard to believe but i did it. So everyone saw my lovely belly and surgery, which they butchered. Fun i must say, fun. I had a blast but i just had my mind thinking about "some thing" the whole time. Then later that evening i just started to feel all nauseous. Didn't have an appetite for food even for brandons family apple pie. I know I would have enjoyed it but i just couldn't think about food. My mind was somewhere else. What caused me to be sick? Don't honestly know. I know that sometime i can make myself sick when I have something on my mind, I just can't stop thinking about "it." It also could be dehydration, which is the excuse i like to use because it's more believable and people don't ask too many questions. If i would tell them the first then they start bothering me with "what's wrong?" "Are you ok?" Not that, that's bad but I rather sometimes just not tell people what im thinking. Needless to say today i feel very nauseous and im working on the roof. I'm dizzy, feel like vomiting, have a headache and to top it off, I feel sooo hot from my lovely "sun tan" I got from this weekend. I just hope that I don't fall off because I'm just out of it. My mind is else where, thinking again. I have questions to ask, but too scared to ask them. Maybe because the answer is not what im looking for, or maybe it's too soon to ask them. Patience will prevail though. I'll wait.

wow...

My life right now feels like a emotional rollercoaster ride. I feel like, well, i don't even know how to explain how i feel like... isn't that sad? My emotions go from one extreme to the next like im in a mid life crisis or something. Maybe stress... maybe many things but I must say i don't like it. I like to be in control of my life, my emotions, my attitude, my finaces... i just feel like nothing is going right. Nothing! Sure im working, but not getting paid, exercising but no results, having friends but still alone, praying but no response, worshiping but still empty, loving but feeling unloved, seek and not finding, surrending to God but feeling left out, desolate, abandoned, hopeless, helpless, confused, frustrated, disconsolate, forsaken, and alone. God am i doing something wrong? really? If please tell me! I read your word, seek your face, pray, giving up things in my life that were pulling me away from you, I worship you, I give you the praise and I surrender everything that you've asked and yet i still feel forlorn. I just feel like im going crazy because every door gets shut, every opertunaty. If I can't turn to you Lord where can i turn too? Who is greater then you? You ask us to come to you with our needs but yet i feel like your mocking me with them. Father im just worn out... I can't do this anymore... You have to do it... Emotionaly i can't, physically, i can't, and mentally i can't. Father, i don't know what's going on. I know you do. I just ask that you bring me someone to help me, a companion, a friend. You said it yourself Father, that it's not good for man to be alone... yet here i stand. This how i feel, if it even makes sense.

Just my randomness...

1. Comparing how carpet feels to orgasmic proportion.
2. "Get in my belly!"
3. Soup or Sicilian omelet? Sicilian Omelet! :D
4. It's not the coffee, it's just my second wind. :P
5. I think if i bash my forehead in the side of my desk, my headache will feel better?
6. People were asking me why am I so happy. ;)
7. Went to look at some houses I built, with Brandon and Theresa, surprisingly i we actually were able to check out Scott's house. That house I'm proud off. :)
8. Talking about bathroom pet-p's, about people not flushing and hair all over the place.
9. Running nake with boots on yelling "free scotland!"(long story.)
10. *Punched in the nuts*

Friends from the past...

That is the title i should have made the last post. I went off on memory lane last night thinking about the old friends I had and it just ticked me off. They would be soo nice and sweet and i'm your friend attitude that you surely thought they were your friend. But actualy they were using you to get what they wanted and bam! their all gone. Gone to talk to everyone about your secrets taht you've entrusted with them in confidence, gone with your trust, gone with your friendship, and gone to use someone else. I hate it when i start thinking about things in the past because it upsets me. I hope that anyone that read it didn't think it was about them. If you did and I hurt your feelings please forgive me. That's not how i wanted it to come off as. Because the friends i have now are awesome. I sometimes stay up to weee hours of the morning talking online in msn, aim or ventrilo. Sure, trust is earned but i feel like they are genuine and real. Not some fake faced you know piece of crap. I didn't have anywhere to vent so i vented where i thought i could vent. Here on my blog. I try to be open and real when i post here. These are my thoughts, feelings, and part of my life that i post. It's real.

These eyes see right through you...

A bit frustrated, maybe?

Have you ever felt like you had a friend but in a way the "friend" was working against you, kinda like sabotaging your every move or a certain part of you. Discourageing your dicisions not bluntly but in a clever way, where they make it seem like they actually care but it's to benifit their interests not yours. Call me a perioniod, but whatever, I don't care. I don't like people doing that. It pisses me off, will i tell you to your face? Nope, I not a jerk-off. Will I ever entrust you with anything personal about me, NOPE! Hell no! Yeah people like that royaly tick me off. Also when you know people are talking about you behind your back. gosh dang it! drives me nuts! than they would lie to my face when you ask them! If you want to tick me off... please go ahead... talk about me behind my back, please go on with your "im nice, sweet and im your friend" atitude, you, you little... you know what just kiss off! yeah just a bit frustrated... i don't know who to vent to or where to go... i just want to YELL!!! GRRrrrr!!!

Another movie...

Last night we watched Crash. Great movie, if you want to see something that is intense and that makes you think. I recommend this movie to anyone. I won't say anything about the movie itself because you just have to experience it. A lot of big actors and actresses in the movie playing small roles. I'm horrible with names but you will definitely recognize their faces. Go see this movie! You will love it. I plan on buying it on DVD when it comes out. I will say this that the racist comments are right in your face. So if you get offended easily then don't watch it.

New bed?

I woke up this morning, of course, by not my own will. Either by someone, by something(phone, noise, dog...), but not by my own will. I can't remember when was the last time that I went to bed at night and slept till i got up with out any disturbences. You know... got up when your body says "get up." Anywho that's not even why I wanted to post today. I got up today feeling like I was 80 years old! My lower left side of my back was hurting so bad when i got up, i could hardly move. I went up stairs and told my mom that i NEED to buy a new bed. I want to buy at least a Queen size if not a King. But i don't think i can fit a King in my room without the bed taking up too much space. My ultimate dream is to buy a Cal-King size so i can roll on it 4 to 5 maybe even 6 times before i reach the other side. Maybe i'll get that when i get married. I'm sure my wife would appricate the room and so would I. I love to spread out, i tend to sleep on my stomach, and sides but no vertical with the bed. I sleep on a diagonal, i find it more comfy for some reason. Maybe because my bed suck? Well back to my back issue. I was just continuing the talk about my back hurting and my mom was just sitting there listening with a smerk on her face. Then she butts in and says "well if you had your back covered then it wouldn't hurt. You were uncovered this morning and the A/C was blowing on your back." LoL... well i guess that explains my back...BUT I still want a bed! If I wouldn't wiggle so much when i sleep i would be fine. The covers would stay on. Maybe i should tie my covers down..hummm. Man, I hope that my wife doesn't mind a wiggly husband...hehe. She might find it amusing or I might just wake up with bruises. That is one reason i would love to get the Huge gigantor bed of a cal-king size. ROOM, LOT OF ROOM!


Doesn't that look so comfy and relaxing. :)

Movies...

Man i have seen a funny movie today. "Guess Who" is a great movie with alot of witty humor and right down blunt comments about race. I really enjoyed the comedy and because it was different then most other funny movies. When you watch it I think you will understand more of what im talking about. I won't tell you any more because it's worth paying for and watching. I would totally watch that movie again. After the movie a bunch of us went downtown to the mud house to get some coffee and it was so nice outside we decided to walk around the square. What was funny is that i kept running into people i knew all over the place...lol.

Qoute of the day:
Katherine - "Your like the square pimp!"

Runner up:

Daniel "If Sandor went to say hi to all his old girlfriend before he gets married it would take him what about 3 min.!"

LOL!

Waking up...

I got woken up this morning by a friend of mine in Jersey, Dr. D for some that know him. He sounded weak and really sick. His first words out of his mouth was telling that he's sick. I love this guy and it seems like some of the people I love, and charish are ill. That hurts. I hate to see that. I did though hear hope and encouragement from his mouth. My little niece, birthday party picture with my dad, is getting over her cold and she just got feeling better from a ear infection also but still is congested. Katherine, pictures in may20-21, she has surgery here soon. The thing that I do see in all their attitudes is aspiration, hopefulness, encouragement and knowing that they can be triumphent. I love it! That is very uplifting to hear and especially to see. I tell you want, if half the people in this world would have their attitudes, the world would be a happier place. I'm praying for you guys and I know that God will be faithful and come through as he always does.

ups and downs..

Why do things go well for a while, just enough for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. To give you this glimps of hope of some sort and then, things get bummpy? I know why, I just felt like asking that question because I have been seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and then some stupid thing comes along to dampen the light... I don't know...im just venting. I would like to stand on the moutain top for a few minutes that's all. It seems like i've been climbing and the climb is never ending. Stronger, yes, i do get, losing hope, nah, frustrated, yeah, excited, of course but i just feel blah. I'm just rambling now...so im going to read, maybe some prayer will clean things up, maybe a good nights rest, who know...we'll see. Just in a blah mood. I could use a hug.